MEDIA WRITING: FEATURE PIECE
16 years old and alone: A brain tumor diagnosis transforms a student’s life
November 2023
***Names are edited to ensure anonymity for sources***
Zoe Renlan waltzes across the dance studio before unexplainably losing her balance, and plowing her head into a table, triggering excruciating pain.
“My symptoms went from 0 to 100 in about a day,” Renlan said. “There was no gradual period of a small headache followed by something more severe. It was immediate. I don’t remember the first time I got a headache because I had issues with them before, but then it just never went away.”
In 2019, Renlan had the luxury of already envisioning the next six years of her life. She was a social butterfly at her public high school in South Carolina and a straight-A student who never made below a 95 in any class. She didn’t carry the stress of applying to colleges because she already received a full-ride scholarship to Fordham University for competitive dance.
Originally, doctors told her she had a concussion, but after the pain persisted Renlan knew that there must be a greater cause.
“If you know something is wrong with you, you must trust yourself and your gut so that you can fight for yourself,” Renlan said. “There are some doctors that will be great, but if your condition isn’t apparent, chances are they will brush it off. Doctors have a million patients to worry about and you’re not more interesting than the next person they see.”
As her discomfort continued, she began experiencing academic troubles in the classroom. Renlan emphasized how debilitating learning became for her in high school. Her vision would become overly blurry to the point where she couldn’t read or write. Additionally, she experienced losing feeling in her left arm randomly, which is particularly troubling because she’s left-handed.
“The pain shoots up my brain stem and over my ears,” Renlan said. “Honestly, it feels like someone is cutting off my circulation on the back of my head, like if someone wrapped a string super tight around your finger.”
During Renlan’s first trip to the emergency room, she explained that doctors did not look past the fact that her condition was likely psychological. Throughout the COVID-19 lockdown, Renlan was treated for migraines because nothing showed up on MRI scans.
“I advocated for Laura and did not stop until we found doctors who could help,” said Renlan, Renlan’s mother. “A lot of doctors dismissed it as psychological and anxiety-related, but I knew better.”
Six months before turning 17 years old, Renlan was diagnosed with occipital neuralgia. According to Barrow Neurological Institute, this rare condition affects 3.2 per 100,000 people. Occipital neuralgia is difficult to diagnose due to its similarities with migraines, however, it can be described as a sharp, stabbing pain in the base of the neck or scalp that moves upward into the back of the head. It can be triggered by a variety of nervous issues or injuries.
“I wanted to know what caused the issue and what could be done to fix it,” Anna said. “I was frustrated, sad and determined because there needed to be an explanation, but four years later, there still isn’t one.”
Three months before turning 17 years old, Renlan went back to the doctor for a check-up MRI scan. After visiting the doctors four times a week for several months, these check-ups were built into her routine. She was alone the day she was told that an occipital tumor was the cause of her occipital neuralgia.
Interestingly, under South Carolina law, any person who reaches the age of 16 is medically considered an adult. This law is consistent with only four other states: Alabama, Kansas, Oregon and Rhode Island. Knowing this, Renlan signed a form stating that she wanted any medical records of her tumor withheld from her parents. She went on to keep her tumor confirmation from both her parents, a secret she hides from them to this day.
“My initial response was disbelief because I didn’t want to believe what she was saying and I didn’t know how to comprehend such a huge thing,” said Sarah Baker, Renlan’s best friend. “It was the only time I’ve ever seen her cry about it. At the time, we didn’t know that it was not life-threatening, so it was scary. I didn’t understand why she refused to tell her parents either.”
According to Oxford Academic’s statistical report on brain tumors diagnosed in the United States, an occipital tumor accounts for 0.9% of all brain tumors diagnosed from 2012 to 2016. It is non-cancerous and isn’t currently growing, but it cannot be surgically removed because the tumor is near the part of her brain that controls vegetative function. Renlan added that many times her heart rate or breathing speeds up uncontrollably due to the location of the tumor.
“Looking back at it, I didn’t act like I was scared, but it was very scary,” Renlan said. “I didn’t tell my parents because I just really didn’t want to be any more of a burden. I am already such a financial burden. My mom would handle it worse than I did if she found out, so there’s just no point.”
Renlan explained that every aspect of her life was affected after receiving this news. Dancers typically look forward to their senior year because they receive the lead roles in recitals, but Renlan was forced to abandon her childhood passion. Her absences from school also became so consistent that the secretaries in the front office knew her by her first name.
“Most people in her situation would not have graduated in the top ten percent of our class,” Baker said. “Most people can’t score a 35 on the ACT even without a brain tumor, but Laura finds a way to make things work for her regardless of how difficult it gets.”
Failing Pre-Calculus and Algebra II was the darkest point in Renlan’s life because before then, she never knew what failing felt like. She maintained her motivation by reminding herself that most people in her position would be failing everything. However, like many high school overachievers, Renlan admitted that grades were her life which added to the stress of applying to colleges and staying on top of classwork.
“My junior year of high school was beyond awful,” Renlan said. “My biggest challenge was keeping it from my parents. That’s a lot of emotional stress I put on myself. I was in physical pain and when you can’t see or walk in a straight line because you’re so dizzy, it’s scary. The worst part was the emotional toll that my condition took on me because I was in such a bad mood all the time and didn’t want to talk to anybody.”
Renlan added that her condition also drastically impacted the social aspect of her life and contributed to her depression during this time. Some days her body would become so weak that she couldn’t physically go anywhere and most of her peers didn’t make any effort to be her friend. Nowadays, she considers this to be a blessing because she knows who her true friends are.
“I would do my best to make school easier for her by helping with homework and bringing her food in the mornings at least once a week,” Baker said. “If we had plans with our other friends and she didn’t feel good enough to go, both of us wouldn’t be going. I knew how lonely it got for her and wanted to make sure she never felt completely alone. The only way I knew to support her was to let her know that I was there for her.”
Over the past two years, Renlan has learned to adjust to a steady treatment plan and believes that she has her condition relatively under control, but there are still obstacles she faces. She goes home once a month and frequently insurance won’t pay for her treatment or will deny coverage for her medications citing some obtuse rationale.
Renlan still cannot look at a computer screen for longer than two hours. Fortunately, Virginia Tech’s Services for Students with Disabilities provides accommodations, including completing classwork on paper, receiving extra time on exams and having a dorm room to herself in O’Shaughnessy Hall.
“Since college has caused an increase in anxiety levels, keeping that under control is a main focus so that her headaches aren’t triggered,” said Phillip Renlan, Renlan’s father. “I try to be supportive by reminding her of what may help, but Laura is learning to listen to her body and take precautions if she knows a flare-up is coming.”
Renlan is an active member of the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority at Virginia Tech and highlighted that this extracurricular is one of the major aspects of her life that is still impacted. She describes her condition as more of a nuisance now that it’s controlled, but there are still episodes where she feels like lying on the floor and crying.
“It doesn’t affect me too much now, but I still have headaches every day,” Renlan said. “During my sorority’s philanthropy week, I had kidney stones, so I couldn’t go home to receive treatment and also couldn’t participate in Zeta’s events because I felt so debilitated. Kidney stones would be enough on their own for someone. Things that would suck for someone else especially suck for me.”
Despite the challenges that Renlan overcomes, she expressed that her condition has redirected her life and shaped her into an unbreakable individual who chooses not to define her life by a neurological condition. While pursuing a major in clinical neuroscience, she has been given unique opportunities such as internship offers and homework help from her doctors. Renlan continues to find ways to be resilient and appreciate the hidden blessings that are concealed underneath her neurological issue. Driven by inner fortitude, this former gifted dancer refuses to allow her disability to characterize her individuality or limit her ambitions.
The target audience for this feature story is U.S. students ages 14-22 who are battling a debilitating health-related issue.
